I am not rebellious.
Growing up I knew I was the kid of what were seen as rebellious parents. My parents were pastors in The Salvation Army. They were known as being ‘cutting edge’ and that they ministered through corporate rebellion. Yes, they led their congregation in “Love Feasts”. A.K.A. communion. In my earlier years I remember these “Love Feasts” at Easter. In my teen years after moving out to the disloyal West Coast they tiptoed and crossed the line into holding them on occasions like Thanksgiving and Christmas and even on New Year’s Eve. There were even times when the fesod of it being a “Love Feast” was done away with and the word that should not be mentioned was uttered. Yes, “communion.” With the West Coast also came water baptism and the defining line of rebellion.
Wait, what? My parents were rebellious in the christian church because they practiced what Jesus preached? Yes. The Salvation Army although it is spread far and wide, territorially it is small and inbred. One could only conclude that if I had rebellious parents, I must too be rebellious. In so many ways The Salvation Army is about power and control. For these “rebellious” pastors penalty is always looming. Approval for new avenues of ministry and even livelihood is put into question. Sudden and suspicious moves and future appointments are often given as punishment along with a negative reputation.
For me I never really understood communion or water baptism. Where on the one side it was known as restorative and freeing; it was on the other side something that people who did not obey the rules did. Doing so was punitive. As a result I was not baptized as my non-Salvation Army peers were. Participating in communion when attending various denominations became bitter. What should have been available to me was stripped and tainted. In a sense it was like spiritual starvation. If I asked to be fed I was penalized. So I didn’t ask and thus I starved.
I don’t need to explain the scriptural foundation to practicing these sacraments. We’ve rightfully used them as our fighting words to change policy and practice. And we have lost, more times than I can count. I also don’t need to go into the history of why the Salvation Army does not practice these sacraments because it is simply that, history. While the Soldier’s covenant can be a beautiful thing as it is to lived out as a daily testimony of the a new life found in Christ, it is not to replace what scripture dictates. And although it is important to know that participating in communion and water baptism is not the means of salvation, it is also important to know that to deny the opportunity of holy obedience, and to make it punitive is spiritual abuse.
Six years ago I was the victim of spiritual and emotional abuse on a rather different scale. I was put through months of interrogation, scolding and my family was threatened over and over again. All this was the consequence to my choosing to follow God’s direction and give two girls a forever home. I did as scripture told me to do and as a result my new family and I were left homeless and jobless without even a car to sleep in. Not only that, but because my exit from ministry with The Salvation Army was so sudden and unexpected by my peers, my ethic was put in question, right across the country.
I cannot tell you have many times I have explained my story of ludicrous acts awarded to me by the leadership of The Salvation Army, to only get a puzzled look with a dropped jaw. Countless people have asked me how much I got in my lawsuit. There was no lawsuit. After all was said and done I felt like although I would win financially and perhaps my cred would be increased, the front line of what I believe to be a valuable ministry would suffer. I had abundant measures to fight back, but no oomph left. The emotional abuse was so intense that my only defense was to shut off all emotion and to simply not go there. I was actually told that my act of choosing to adopt “did not line up with the mission and vision of The Salvation Army.” It wasn’t until recent that I have come to realize that those words couldn’t have been truer. While I fully support the front line mission of bringing hope to those who have lost it, the means behind the vision is riddled with control and threat, which I will have no part of.
I don’t say all of this to gain favor or sympathy because to be very honest, my family is far better off now than we were then. It took all of that, and these years afterwards to understand the impact of being under such powerful scrutiny. I find myself now in a new church surrounded by a new community of believers who I am sure are full of their own baggage. No denomination is perfection. The loss was so intense that it took me five years to finally leave the abusive relationship. Although the power to control my life was cut off six years ago the emotional trauma was so intense that to leave fully and go into the unknown seemed riskier than staying. If I stayed I knew I could not trust and I knew that I needed to keep my guards up. If I left, who knew what would happen.
So, why say all of this? Denying communion and water baptism are merely two examples of control. And explaining my dismissal from The Salvation Army for adopting is just one example of disregarded inevitable trauma. Every pastor (possibly even every member) of The Salvation Army can name times when their obedience to God the Father has been punished or threatened.
I say all of this to encourage you to stand up and to know that your obedience to our Saviour is not rebellion against the body of believers, but that it is beautiful and that it will be rewarded with a crown.
I have not yet been baptized. But, I do know that when I am it will not be noted as a rebellious act but that it will be seen as an act of obedience towards the Great “I am.”
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Beautiful
Beauty.
I heard a couple of radio talk show hosts talk the other day
about how we shouldn't tell our little girls that they are beautiful. The premise was that by doing so you would
place emphasis on how they looked and thus begin the torment many (if not most)
women feel to look perfect in every way.
I get it that we do often place too much emphasis on how we look. From a young age little girls focus on
looking beautiful. They begin with play
make-up; sometimes as early as three years old.
Disney princesses are painted on nearly piece of fabric, every coat,
toy, hair brush and bike. The burden to
be ‘special’ is like being in a pressure cooker. It’s set high and the pressure is building. While I agree that too much pressure or
emphasis is placed on beauty at a young age, I would hesitate to not tell my
children that they are ‘beautiful.’ They
are beautiful, and it is rather terrifying to think of just how vulnerable
their beauty could make them. Both
fixate on how their clothing looks, how their hair is done, and both plead with
me regularly to be allowed to wear make-up.
They just turned ten.
I won’t stop telling them that they are beautiful because
they need to know that they are. I can’t
imagine the pain that they would feel in later years if they realized that
other parents told their kids that they were beautiful, but that theirs didn’t. Instead of defining ‘beauty’ as the way a
person looks, I would much rather define it as who a person is. Created in the image of God, beauty is most definitely
not skin deep.
My children are beautiful.
They have survived infant and toddler years that would make any adult
give up on life, completely. They have
fight. My children are beautiful. Their compassion towards anyone who is being
hurt, neglected, or sick is unwavering.
Their willingness to love, despite my shortcomings is generous. My children are beautiful. Their freedom in worship is inspiring to the freest
of spirits. My children are beautiful.
Their bodacious presence at the face of challenge is freeing. My children are beautiful. Their willingness to publically share about
what God has done for them, despite what others may think, is courageous. My children are beautiful, inside and
out.
My children are beautiful.
And I will tell them.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Orphan Care Part 3
Part 3
There are implications in the way we
choose to aid in the orphan epidemic.
And unfortunately in some ways through our good intentions what we have
done is create more orphans. Steve Roa
explains in an article which focuses on “community based orphan care” that in
an effort to provide safe homes with unending resources for children, what
happens as a result is some parents giving up their children so that they can
have a better chance at life. Roa goes
on in his article to explain that “The problem
with the institutional approach is that it gradually begins to isolate young
people from their communities, creating a sub-culture with an inevitable
identity crisis.”[i]
Ironically, Americans have done away with orphanages in
their own country because of the many problems they create. Yet we unquestioningly
continue to use this problematic model around the world!”[ii] Roa explains that the AIDS epidemic has
increased rising the numbers of orphans to a point where Westerners cannot keep
up with building enough institutions for them. They have been forced to return
to the community and ask what they could or should do differently. Traditionally, orphans have been cared for by
their extended family. So, why not
empower the communities and the extended family to care for them? This type of
“community-based care” keeps with cultural values and traditions and it is
healthier down the road for the child. They remain in their community, and stay
close to their families. Roa goes on to
explain that there are many more options to be engaged in orphan care ministry
than simply housing children. One model
that he highlights is taking place in Africa known as the “child head of
household.” Typically in this model an
older sibling (such as a teenager) is given responsibility for their younger
siblings. The teenager is empowered and
mentored. In the North American foster
care system we hear all the time about the importance of keeping siblings
together. It is no different for those
in impoverished countries. Perhaps a
“child head of household” isn’t ideal, but the results can be far better than
institutionalizing children and isolating them from their families and
communities. In his research Roas has
found that “keeping siblings together dramatically reduces emotional distress,
as opposed to dividing up the children among relatives or institutionalizing
them. Such a model can also serve to carry on the family name, as well as
maintain family rights and land inheritance.”[iii]
In an article by Jo Daugherty Bailey it is explained that “The circumstances of orphanhood vary by country and region of
the world. War, famine, disease, and economic circumstances are the leading
primary causes of orphanhood.”[iv]
Therefore, our response cannot be of a
cookie-cutter nature. Bailey highlights
that four main areas of need for each child weigh differently. The four main areas are in education, meeting
basic needs psycho-social needs and protection.
Where, for example, education is provided for orphan children in North
America, it isn’t a given in other places.
It isn’t a priority for orphan care ministry in North America, where it
is crucial in places like Africa. Bailey
points out that “Children without parental care are
likely to experience threats to food, housing, and health care. These basic needs are critical for survival
and therefore represent a special vulnerability for orphans.”[v] Children
who have been separated from their parents and often families experience great
devastation which can present in profound grief and distress, which may not
even show itself fully until years later.
Children who grow up with such tragedies in their lives are in need of
protection. They are vulnerable for
physical, emotional, sexually, and emotionally abuse. The risk of being
exploited is extremely high. Bailey
highlights that “researchers have found that approximately 1/3 of prostitutes
in Zambia are orphans (UNICEF 2005) and in several African countries, orphans
are more vulnerable to homelessness and exploitive labor practices
(UNAIDS/UNICEF/USAID 2004).”[vi]
Back2back
Ministries has taken much of this same approach and used it as the foundation
for their ministry with orphans. They
have a 5 point Back2back Child Development Plan that was created as a means of
holistically meeting the needs of orphans in the community without simply
focusing on the immediate external needs.
Their 5 point plan includes Education, Emotional, Spiritual, Physical
and Social development.[vii] When we look at simply satisfying the basic
needs of shelter, food and clothing but negate those elements which will have
long lasting effects, we do a dishonor to the child and set them up for
failure. When we take a holistic
approach and meet not only the physical needs of the child but also focus on
their emotional and social development, provide solid, practical education and
demonstrate the foundations of a relationship with Christ, we set the child up
for success, as much as we can.
Here and now change needs to be
made. According to UNICEF, there are at
least 100 million children world-wide that are believed to live at least part
time on the streets.[viii] And according to the New York Times, the U.S. government believes that its country contributes
about half a million under-age runaways and “throwaways” to this total.[ix] These are people for whom Jesus died. These millions of children do not need to
remain invisible people. They are God’s
children, and we are required to provide for them, in every way possible. Clearly, the members of the Body of Christ
have a responsibility to answer to the outcry of the children, and clearly the
church in the Western world needs to answer it.
Of course it isn’t all cut and
dry. No one method remedies the
epidemic. What works one place may not
work in another. And what is the answer
of hope to one person, may not be for the next.
Through prayer and petition; through research and wisdom from those who
have gone before us; and from open ears to the voice of God, healing can be
found and hope can be restored.
Orphans stop being orphans when they
start becoming sons and daughters.
Family is what is required to remedy the plague that is orphanhood. If the church does for orphans what God did
for us by adopting us, regardless of circumstance, means or difficulty,
countless lives will be saved and generations of abandonment and poverty can be
avoided.
Orphan Care Part 2
Part 2
Our calling to care for orphans comes
not only with great humility but with great honour. As Matthew 18:5 says, “And anyone who
welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.” We honour God by caring for the orphan
through a number of ways. Not everyone
is meant to become a parent to the parentless.
But, everyone is meant to be a part of their restoration. Countless people feel a pull towards caring
for the orphan but stand still because they feel they cannot do it. There is more than one way to seek justice
for the parentless. In Deuteronomy 24:17
we are instructed to, “not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or
take the cloak of the widow as a pledge.
Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the Lord your God redeemed
you from there. That is why I command you to do this.” Just as God adopted us as his children and
redeemed us we need to be a part of the ministry towards the parentless. Prayer and petition, financial support,
education and advocacy are only a few ways that we can be involved in seeking
justice.
Suggesting that the
starting blocks of ministry to orphans is in prayer and petition can seem
meager or too basic. It is however the
one thing that every missionary who is knee deep in the politics and challenges
involved in orphan care will say that they covet the most. As rudimentary as it may sound it is crucial
in finding direction, strength to carry on and perhaps more often than not, in
opening doors that the opposition would prefer to remain glued shut.
Regarding financial
support, in the Old Testament the Israelites were given very specific
instructions on how they were to support those who were in need. In Deuteronomy it explains that:
“At
the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year’s produce and
store it in your towns, so that the Levites (who have no allotment or
inheritance of their own) and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who
live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the Lord your
God may bless you in all the work of your hands (14:28).”
Further on in it
highlights again the importance of our regularly providing for those in need so
that they can be fulfilled in the community.
“When you have finished setting aside a tenth of all your produce in the
third year, the year of the tithe, you shall give it to the Levite, the alien,
the fatherless and the widow, so that they may eat in your towns and be
satisfied (26:12).”
One of my favourite memory verses is Proverbs
31:8-9. It ingrained in me at a young
age that we have a responsibility to, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for
themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights
of the poor and needy.” We’ve all seen
the images of children who have been sent to work by adults, patting car
windows asking for money, children standing by brothel doors waiting for
customers and children soldiers. Images
of children searching the garbage dump for scraps for their younger siblings
and we’ve heard the stories of children who have had to stop going to school so
that they can provide for them. Images
of disabled, abandoned children being left for dead in their orphanage
cot. Although all these children may
try, they cannot fend for themselves and they certainly should not have to
scavenge for the families. We are given
the crucial call to “defend the cause of the weak and fatherless (Psalms 82:3).”
One of the main ways we can do so is
through education. While we do not want
to exploit these children through their stories, the world does need to know
what is happening. It wasn’t all that
long ago that the world was oblivious to the horror of child soldiers, or
slavery on cocoa plantations, or human trafficking. It is through our observation and
storytelling with each other and the media that these stories have come to
light and some change is starting to be made.
James 1:27 “Religion that God our
Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows
in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” This is when we get down to the muck and mire
of active discipleship. Although it is
richly rewarding, caring for the orphan, whether through adoption or foster
care, in a group home, in an orphanage or out in the community it requires
grueling faith. Think of a mustard seed
wearing armor, carrying sword and shield.
It isn’t easy. I speak from first
hand. It’s dirty. It hurts.
It’s exhausting. And it is
possibly one of the most amazing experiences anyone could ever experience. Think of sky diving from the moon, landing on
earth and surviving. It is impossible
for us to do. Yet, He calls us to because
with Him, it is more than possible.
Orhpan care ... not just a good idea. Part 1
Deeply rooted in our being is a need
for belonging. We long for community and
grow and develop through it. As we
journey with Christ we learn and come to understand that our belonging is found
firstly in Him who has set us free. It
is then through our community that we find our footing and hear our call.
The motivation for believers to come
alongside orphaned children is quite simple.
There is nothing complicated or manipulative about inviting a person to
become your child. Through orphan care
ministries and adoption we reflect God’s love as our Father. In response to our adoption as His children,
we pour out our best likeness of His love on others. It is the love of a parent,
even the adoptive parent, which is simple and pure. Not everyone is meant to physically and
legally bring a child into their family. There are, however, countless ways
that we have all been called to be a part of restoring hope to the orphan. First we must find our way in grasping the
concept that we were once adopted.
Secondly, as a result of our being adopted as children of God, we have a
responsibility in how we embrace orphans in our world. And lastly, we as we begin our engagement in
ministry to orphans, we must search to understand the many implications that
result from our efforts.
Part 1
At the foundations of our call to care for
the orphan we are reminded that we were adopted as children of God. 1 John 3:1 says, “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children,
and that is what we are!” Imagine
yourself young and helpless. Imagine
yourself not knowing where you are going.
Imagine not knowing who was taking you there or if you could even trust
that person. Imagine not having ever
experienced hope. Imagine that if, every
time you did receive that glimmer of hope, it was extinguished before you could
touch it. Imagine, then, a person
standing in front of you holding a gift with the word “hope” written on
it. That person then opens the gift,
takes out the hope, holds onto it and turns and walks away. This is exactly what we do each time we see a
child in need and do not share the love of Christ nor invite them into His
family. We are not all meant or equipped
to adopt or foster children, but we are all meant to love and care for
them. As Tom Davis explains in response
to our spiritual adoption, “Our gratefulness ought to be a wellspring that
pours out the same kind of freedom and joy to others (Davis, p. 63).”
Elizabeth
Styffe puts it beautifully: “When God adopted us, He made us part of His permanent
family, so we would no longer be orphans.
Even though we were not His bloodline, He grafted us in through
adoption, giving us permanent security and a family, meeting our need to
belong. His adoption of us is a legal
process that cost Him everything. It
gives us an inheritance and the right to call Him Abba, or “Father”(Styffe).”[i]
We must feel the intensity of the kind of love that God bestowed
upon us through His sacrifice of His son.
Our call to respond to the plight of the needy isn’t an option. It is not to be considered something nice
that we do or a kind gesture. To neglect
the call is to deprive the orphan of hope and justice. To disregard the orphan and not welcome them
into your home, to not help them when they are hungry and in rags, to not hear
them when they are crying out to us, lonely and scared, is to not have the love
of God abide in us. For 1 John 3:16-17 says,
“But whoever has material possessions, and sees his brother in need, but shuts
up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?”
Davis
explains, “Genuine, believing faith manifests itself in tangible ways when we
care for those who are poor, suffering, and fatherless or motherless (Styffe, p.63).” When you come right down to it, the very
basics of Christianity are found in the action of feeding, clothing and
treating the fatherless as members of your very own family.
If
this is true then, and we believe wholeheartedly that this is at the base of
us living out our faith, and that the love of God is contingent on it; then why
are we not more involved and why are there still so many suffering? I believe the reason rests in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change. Fear of what it may cost them. Fear of leaving their comfortable lifestyles
behind only to welcome great challenge. I can’t count the times I have heard
people talk about wanting to do mission work but hesitate out of fear for the
challenge. I also can’t count the times
I have heard people say that they wouldn't have stepped out if they had known
how difficult it would be, but that they were glad they did. Fear cripples us. And yet, if we believe our salvation story,
then we should also believe that we are called to “fear not... (Isaiah 41:10).” We need to ask ourselves: would God place a
desire or calling on our hearts to engage in ministry to orphans if he was not
going to be in it? What if our
neglecting to take action mean depriving even ourselves of the joy that He
desires for us?
Let’s
take the example of the story found in Luke chapter 7. Here we find Jesus gathering with a group of
Pharisees over a meal. In comes a woman
of questionable background. The woman
weeping on the feet of Jesus, dries her tears with her hair and then pours a perfume
worth a year’s wages onto his feet.
Jesus then demonstrates His all-inclusive love: he recognizes the
sincerity of her devotion and forgives her of her sins. Simon is grappled with the situation. As a Pharisee, someone whose religious
occupation is to be kind and compassionate, he was challenged. It would have
been common practice to throw out the woman as if she was vermin. Instead, what was to be avoided was
embraced. Simon was so focused on living
his holy, pleasing and safe life that he missed tremendous opportunity to
receive the blessing of sharing the grace of God with others. Davis explains that the method to overcoming
such fear is by “making other’s pain a priority in our lives. People are eternal; fear is not. We change
our lifestyles and start to give sacrificially of our time, energy, and
resources to the fatherless (Davis, p.119).”
There
are countless examples in the Scriptures that highlight the faithfulness and
omnipotence of God as our father. There
are also several examples of people adopting orphans into their families on
scary terms. The lives of Moses and
Ester are just a couple of examples.
Moses
was born at a time when his death, along with the deaths of every other Israelite
newborn son was ordered. His rescue
would have been controversial to say the least.
Not only would Israelite mothers mourning the loss of their children
envy Moses’ Mother who was then allowed to nurse her baby, even after trying to
hide him, but Pharaoh’s approval of his daughter raising an Israelite would
have caused quite a bit of tension.
God’s hand was on Moses’ life as his own mother was even allowed to
raise him. Later, when the boy was
older, his mother brought him back to Pharaoh's daughter, who adopted him as
her own son (Ex.2). His life was
protected through the provision of an adoptive family so that his life could
fulfil the purpose for which God had designed it. Imagine, what would have happened if
Pharaoh’s daughter hadn’t been compassionate towards the abandoned child? Was it one of those pivotal moments where the
consequence for disobedience is absolute?
Or, would he have had a stand-in if she hadn’t have come through, or if
Pharaoh hadn’t have agreed to it? Would
it have changed the course of history? We will never know. What we do know is that there are
consequences to sin. And disobedience is
sin. And sometimes, the consequences
have a deep effect on others.
We see
the same kind of powerful result when Mordecai is faithful in hearing his call
to adopt Esther after she became parentless.
God had given Esther a kind of beauty that would be noticed by
royalty. A kind of beauty that would
help set things in motion for the lives of the Jewish people of their community
to be saved. When you line up all of the
circumstances that fell into play for Ester to help unveil Haman’s wicked
scheme, if Mordecai had not have been willing to adopt her as his own, it
wouldn’t have happened the way it did.
Again, God called, he created the circumstances for greatness to happen,
but if the believer hadn’t followed through, it may not have happened the way
it did. And the very lives of the Jews
could have been at stake.
In Exodus we
saw Moses’ life was spared and he was adopted so that it could be used to bring
the Jews freedom. In the book of Esther, a beautiful girl, adopted by her
cousin after her parents' death, became a queen, and God used her to bring
deliverance to the Jewish people. In the New Testament, Jesus Christ was
conceived through the Holy Spirit instead of through the seed of a man (Matthew 1:18). He was “adopted” and raised by His mother's husband, Joseph,
who took Jesus as his own child. God
loves the orphan. He cares for them and
he makes plans for them. Their lives are
valuable beyond measure, as are yours and mine.
God’s character reflects care for
orphans. “He defends the cause of the
fatherless and the widow (Deut. 10:18).” Scripture is chalk full of references
where we are reminded of His concern towards the parentless. Psalms 68:5-6a tells
us that He is “father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his
holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in
families.”
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